Parents what would you do if you daughter (aged 20-25) asked this of you, serious answers only pleas

ok well a little onfo about me i'll be 20 in feb. i've been with my fiance for over a year, know where my question is what if you and your duaghter always talked about a mid sized wedding at home with a budget of $1000 to $2000, but then when the time came she only wanted a small wedding at the court house so that the top cost would be about $250, but asked fo rthe rest of the budget to put toward a house or to pay of student loans, what would you tell her? yes? no? and why would you give her the answer you give her?

my mom had a very cheap wedding every thing they had was barrowed from a friend who was haveing a wedding 3 weeks later so my mom and i have always talked about a very nice wedding do you think it will brake her heart if i tell her that i just want the parents and my best friend and his best friend there at the court house like i said with the dress i want and the fees for the mariage liecnes it will top out at $250, but my fiance and i have found the cutest house we

Parents what would you do if you daughter (aged 20-25) asked this of you, serious answers only please?

It may or may not break her heart, but i understand that the wedding is just a day and the marriage is a lifetime and where you and your husband will actually live is more important than where and how you get married. If you can get your mother to understand that I think if anything she will be proud of you. I got married in a tiny country church on a gravel road with ONLY my immediate family in a simple white dress from Target...Our marriage has outlasted many of our friends' who had huge weddings. Id love for my daughter to tell me she wants a small wedding so that she could pay for more important things! I wish you the BEST of luck, lots of love and happiness! I think you will do well!

Parents what would you do if you daughter (aged 20-25) asked this of you, serious answers only please?

I think you sound very practical. You could even get the word out that the best wedding present is money toward your new house. If your mom is really looking forward to having all the friends and family involved in your wedding, a good compromise could be that you have the wedding your way and then she can plan a big reception (maybe it could be in your new house!) And the reception does not have to be right after the wedding. I got married in July in my parents' back yard (just our parents and the preacher) and then my in-laws threw us a reception in October.

Parents what would you do if you daughter (aged 20-25) asked this of you, serious answers only please?

Marriage at that age? within one year. Sort your priorities god dam it.

Get through college.

Get a descent house.

Learn to drive.

And so on...

Parents what would you do if you daughter (aged 20-25) asked this of you, serious answers only please?

Having four son's and no daughters... I will have to wing this one... However, I would simply state, it is really your choice, and my personal opinions about weddings are they should be simple and quaint. Large weddings in my opinion are a waste of money... People come to eat and drink and most are not even very close.. So something a bit more intimate is what I would and did have. My second thought would be I have done a great job in raising such a responsible young women. I would give you the money and allow you to have the wedding you prefer and thus have a great feeling in my heart that you have made such a responsible choice in purchasing a nice first home... what a blessing you are to your mother... My opinion! Good for you! Thinking practical and responsible... God bless****

Parents what would you do if you daughter (aged 20-25) asked this of you, serious answers only please?

You get 'one' wedding (yes many people marry over and over)

but make it special. It doesn't have to be a lavish affair.

But you can't do over - so remember that.

If you can't afford a house without the money for the wedding I'd wait it out and find something better.. don't rush the ordeal over a house.. one day you may regret it.

You are just at the time of your 'life'... enjoy it.

Parents what would you do if you daughter (aged 20-25) asked this of you, serious answers only please?

I think thats such a practical thing to do if thats what you want. Be honest with your mom.

Parents what would you do if you daughter (aged 20-25) asked this of you, serious answers only please?

Well, she was looking foward to all of the glitz and glamour of your wedding--she wanted you to have a good wedding and enjoy it. If you ask her for the money so it could be going to a new house and some student loans, why not having a house-warming party at your house to make her feel better.

It'll still bring the family and friends together, right? There you could talk about your marriage and future--in a comfortable envoirment for you. I'd mention to your mother where the money would go and what you'd use it for first.

Good luck!

~Angel

Parents what would you do if you daughter (aged 20-25) asked this of you, serious answers only please?

I think this day is all about you and what you want. My husband and I were married in Vegas...We did not elope we had this planned for about 6 months. Our reasoning for not having a big expensive wedding was that we had two cildren already and we would rather savd the money for their future. So I think you are making a wise choice for your future!

Parents what would you do if you daughter (aged 20-25) asked this of you, serious answers only please?

Im sure if you tell her exactly why you dont want a big wedding that will cost a fortune she will be very proud of you and will be fine with whole thing. And besides, it will be your day so she will just be happy to be there and see her daughter happy (I know I will be when my daughter is older and is doing the same as you).

good luck x

Parents what would you do if you daughter (aged 20-25) asked this of you, serious answers only please?

I think it is hard for parents to step back. Your mom wants you have the wedding that she didnt.

I think what you are suggesting is a very praticial and wise decission. Telll your mom that she doesnt want you starting off your life in debt does she? I am sure that will help her see it your way.

You know you can have a ceremony at someones home and it can be very nicely and cheaply done instead of the courthouse.

Please look into that alternative before you finally decide on the courthouse. It will still be the same price for JP.

My sister did this at her friends home and all the guests/family brought food so they didnt have to cateered.

It was really nice and warm and intimate. If you look into this and you think you can find a nice place, maybe that will make your mom feel better and you too.

its your day and I hope you are able to follow your heart and be able to pay off some bills.

All the blessings for your wedding and marriage.

Parents what would you do if you daughter (aged 20-25) asked this of you, serious answers only please?

I had a courthouse wedding and a small reception the next day in my sister's backyard. I sometimes have regrets (I had just finished grad school and was very broke and he was newly divorced and paying child support===BROKE) My mom was dead and my dad had no $$ so this type of reception was a necessity. I have a 10 year old daughter now and I would really like for her to have a bigger wedding, but I would be so proud of her if she would want to be practical. Remember, the wedding doesn't make the marriage. And I think your parents would be OK with just giving you the $$$--I would be.

Parents what would you do if you daughter (aged 20-25) asked this of you, serious answers only please?

Talk to your mother. -Is all I can say.

I see what you are trying to do, but if I were you, I'd go for the wedding at home, even if it is between $1,000.00 to $2,000.00. You will regret it later on.

Look, if the money that you seek isn't a fraction what you owe to student loans, then have the wedding you were going to have.

If the money covers the amount owed in full, then do it the way you were going to.

On the contrary, I'd have the wedding and the whole shindig and pictures taken so that I could share them with my children later on.

Parents what would you do if you daughter (aged 20-25) asked this of you, serious answers only please?

Sounds like a very mature and responsible way to go to me, your parents should be very proud of you, having a big wedding does not guarantee any success with the relationship.

Parents what would you do if you daughter (aged 20-25) asked this of you, serious answers only please?

i would not be upset if i was your mom. but maybe there is a compromise in there somewhere if she is against.. the court house.. Meanwhile.. i think wanting the house is a mature move.

Parents what would you do if you daughter (aged 20-25) asked this of you, serious answers only please?

well if that is what my daughter rather do, then yes by all means I would honor her wishs. my heart would be somewhat sad, but also done this myself, i know where you are coming from. i too would rather pay off bills and worry about a wedding later. starting your life on the right foot would be the best thing. as stated before you do have a good head on shoulders and should be able to succeed very well.

i just wonder why you don't save the $250 and have your parents pay the other money towards the down payment of your house. student loans are cheap enough interest that it would be smart to just leave those alone. don't pay the amount they give you pay extra. if you take that 2 grand plus what ever you can tuck away right now, that will bring down your house payment. also remember to lock your interest rate, then pay extra every month on that too. Good Luck on your future and hope you have many wonderful days with your soon to be partner!!!!

Parents what would you do if you daughter (aged 20-25) asked this of you, serious answers only please?

I am a father of two daughters, and I can relate to your concern. My wife and I always have plans for our children. It is a very good idea, logical but practical. I have no objection of that, only at her age, as a parent, I would suggest to finish school before getting into marriage. If fiancee can wait and plan for both in the near future, I think that would be the best decision they will ever made. Remember that parents always wanted to give their children all the best, whether it is expensive or not. But your daughter has acceptable idea, and it.s really good.

In case she and her fiancee really decided to pursue marriage, just make sure that they really know each other.

When me and my wife is in process of organizing wedding' her parents wanted to have a reception in expensive restaurant and a glamorous church ceremony. I did not refuse the offer but I accepted the offer in a practical manner also. I told them, it would be greatful if the money they will going to spent should be given to us for a good start of building a family. They accepted my idea. I told them also, let me handle the expenses based on my own capacity and reserve your offer in the near future, when we really needed help.

It has similarity, isn't it. So, go for it!!!!!

Parents what would you do if you daughter (aged 20-25) asked this of you, serious answers only please?

It sounds like a real good idea to me. But there is a lot of mothers that seem to want to live out their dreams of having the wedding they wanted through their daughters wedding. That is all wrong but I think it happens a lot.

Once the wedding is over the money is gone for a lot of 'show' for one day.

I like your idea.

Parents what would you do if you daughter (aged 20-25) asked this of you, serious answers only please?

Tell her you two could have a bigger wedding for your 5-year anniversary. It would give you time to get settled in your new life and save some money for it.

Parents what would you do if you daughter (aged 20-25) asked this of you, serious answers only please?

I would tell her no and would tell her she's old enough to get married then she's old enough to stand on her own 2 feet and pay her own bills. I bought my own house with my own money and she can do the same. And don't even think of asking people to give her money at her wedding. That's just tacky.